The Kentucky Derby Is Decadent and Depraved, by Hunter S. Thompson
Revisiting one of the Good Doctor’s greatest hits
by Michael MacCambridge on May 3, 2013
The telephone rang at Warren Hinckles San Francisco home at about 3:30 in the morning on Wednesday, April 29, 1970. When Hinckle picked up the receiver, he heard the unmistakable voice of Hunter S. Thompson, calling from Aspen, proclaiming, Goddammit, Scanlans has to cover the Derby. Its important.
The pitch, even at the late hour and the late date (barely 72 hours before the race itself), was fairly irresistible.1 Send Thompson, still finding his distinctive voice in countercultural journalism, to his hometown of Louisville to cover the drunken, debauched scene at Churchill Downs for Scanlans, the anti-establishment (some would say subversive) monthly magazine for which Hinckle was co-editor.
Hinckle agreed on the spot, booked Thompson a ticket, wired him expense money, and then set about finding an artist to provide illustrations for the story. Originally, he had hoped to send a photographer to shoot the event, but after haggling with Thompson, he instead hired the English illustrator Ralph Steadman.2
It would prove to be a memorable, historic weekend. And it began, as so many of Thompsons adventures would, with drinks at a bar.
The Kentucky Derby Is Decadent and Depraved
By Hunter S. Thompson
From Scanlans, June 1970
Welcome to Derbytown
I GOT OFF the plane around midnight and no one spoke as I crossed the dark runway to the terminal. The air was thick and hot, like wandering into a steam bath. Inside, people hugged each other and shook hands big grins and a whoop here and there: By God! You old bastard! Good to see you, boy! Damn good and I mean it!
In the air-conditioned lounge I met a man from Houston who said his name was something or other but just call me Jimbo and he was here to get it on.
Im ready for anything, by God! Anything at all. Yeah, what are you drinkin? I ordered a Margarita with ice, but he wouldnt hear of it: Naw, naw what the hell kind of drink is that for Kentucky Derby time? Whats wrong with you, boy? He grinned and winked at the bartender. Goddam, we gotta educate this boy. Get him some good whiskey.
I shrugged. Okay, a double Old Fitz on ice. Jimbo nodded his approval.
Look. He tapped me on the arm to make sure I was listening. I know this Derby crowd, I come here every year, and let me tell you one thing Ive learned this is no town to be giving people the impression youre some kind of faggot. Not in public, anyway. Shit, theyll roll you in a minute, knock you in the head and take every goddam cent you have.
I thanked him and fitted a Marlboro into my cigarette holder. Say, he said, you look like you might be in the horse business am I right?
No, I said. Im a photographer.
Oh yeah? He eyed my ragged leather bag with new interest. Is that what you got there cameras? Who you work for?
Playboy, I said.
He laughed. Well goddam! What are you gonna take pictures of nekkid horses? Haw! I guess youll be workin pretty hard when they run the Kentucky Oaks. Thats a race jut for fillies. He was laughing wildly. Hell yes! And theyll all be nekkid too!
I shook my head and said nothing; just stared at him for a moment, trying to look grim. Theres going to be trouble, I said. My assignment is to take pictures of the riot.
I hesitated, twirling the ice in my drink. At the track. On Derby Day. The Black Panthers. I stared at him again. Dont you read the newspapers?
The grin on his face had collapsed. What the hell are you talkin about?
Well maybe I shouldnt be telling you I shrugged. But hell, everybody seems to know. The cops and the National Guard have been getting ready for six weeks. They have 20,000 troops on alert at Fort Knox. They warned us all the press and photographers to wear helmets and special vests like flak jackets. We were told to expect shooting
No! he shouted; his hands flew up and hovered momentarily between us, as if to ward off the words he was hearing. Then he hacked his fist on the bar. Those sons of bitches! God Almighty! The Kentucky Derby! He kept shaking his head. No! Jesus! Thats almost too bad to believe! Now he seemed to be jagging on the stool, and when he looked up his eyes were misty. Why? Why here? Dont they respect anything?
I shrugged again. Its not just the Panthers. The FBI says busloads of white crazies are coming in from all over the country to mix with the crowd and attack all at once, from every direction. Theyll be dressed like everybody else. You know coats and ties and all that. But when the trouble starts well, thats why the cops are so worried.
He sat for a moment, looking hurt and confused and not quite able to digest all this terrible news. Then he cried out: Oh Jesus! What in the name of God is happening in this country? Where can you get away from it?
Not here, I said, picking up my bag. Thanks for the drink and good luck.
He grabbed my arm, urging me to have another, but I said I was overdue at the Press Club and hustled off to get my act together for the awful spectacle. At the airport newsstand I picked up a Courier-Journal and scanned the front page headlines: Nixon Sends GIs into Cambodia to Hit Reds B-52s Raid, then 2,000 GIs Advance 20 Miles 4,000 U.S. Troops Deployed Near Yale as Tension Grows Over Panther Protest. At the bottom of the page was a photo of Diane Crump, soon to become the first woman jockey ever to ride in the Kentucky Derby.3 The photographer had snapped her stopping in the barn area to fondle her mount, Fathom. The rest of the paper was spotted with ugly war news and stories of student unrest. There was no mention of any protest action at a small Ohio school called Kent State.
I went to the Hertz desk to pick up my car, but the moon-faced young swinger in charge said they didnt have any. You cant rent one anywhere, he assured me. Our Derby reservations have been booked for six weeks. I explained that my agent had confirmed a white Chrysler convertible for me that very afternoon but he shook his head. Maybe well have a cancellation. Where are you staying?
I shrugged. Wheres the Texas crowd staying? I want to be with my people.
He sighed. My friend, youre in trouble. This town is flat full. Always is, for the Derby.
I leaned closer to him, half-whispering: Look, Im from Playboy. How would you like a job?
He backed off quickly. What? Come on, now. What kind of a job?
Never mind, I said. You just blew it. I swept my bag off the counter and went to find a cab. The bag is a valuable prop in this kind of work; mine has a lot of baggage tags on it SF, LA, NY, Lima, Rome, Bangkok, that sort of thing and the most prominent tag of all is a very official, plastic-coated thing that said Photog. Playboy Mag. I bought it from a pimp in Vail, Colorado, and he told me how to use it. Never mention Playboy until youre sure theyve seen this thing first, he said. Then, when you see them notice it, thats the time to strike. Theyll go belly up every time. This thing is magic, I tell you. Pure magic.
Well maybe so. Id used it on the poor geek in the bar, and now, humming along in a Yellow Cab toward town, I felt a little guilty about jangling the poor buggers brains with that evil fantasy. But, what the hell? Anybody who wanders around the world saying, Yes, Im from Texas, deserves whatever happens to him. And he had, after all, come here once again to make a 19th century ass of himself in the midst of some jaded, atavistic freakout with nothing to recommend it except a very saleable tradition. Early in our chat, Jimbo had told me that he hasnt missed a Derby since 1954. The little lady wont come anymore, he said. She just grits her teeth and turns me loose for this one. And when I say loose I do mean loose! I toss ten-dollar bills around like they were goin outa style! Horses, whiskey, women shit, theres women in this town thatll do anything for money.
Why not? Money is a good thing to have in these twisted times. Even Richard Nixon is hungry for it. Only a few days before the Derby he said, If I had any money Id invest it in the stock market. And the market, meanwhile, continued its grim slide.
The next day was heavy. With 30 hours to post time I had no press credentials and according to the sports editor of the Louisville Courier-Journal no hope at all of getting any. Worse, I needed two sets; one for myself and another for Ralph Steadman, the English illustrator who was coming from London to do some Derby drawings. All I knew about him was that this was his first visit to the United States. And the more I pondered that fact, the more it gave me fear. Would he bear up under the heinous culture shock of being lifted out of London and plunged into a drunken mob scene at the Kentucky Derby? There was no way of knowing. Hopefully, he would arrive at least a day or so ahead, and give himself time to get acclimated. Maybe a few hours of peaceful sightseeing in the Bluegrass country around Lexington. My plan was to pick him up at the airport in the huge Pontiac Ballbuster Id rented from a used car salesman named Colonel Quick, then whisk him off to some peaceful setting to remind him of England.
Colonel Quick had solved the car problem, and money (four times the normal rate) had bought two rooms in a scumbox on the outskirts of town. The only other kink was the task of convincing the moguls at Churchill Downs that Scanlans was such a prestigious sporting journal that common sense compelled them to give us two sets of the best press tickets. This was not easily done. My first call to the publicity office resulted in total failure. The press handler was shocked at the idea that anyone would be stupid enough to apply for press credentials two days before the Derby. Hell, you cant be serious, he said. The deadline was two months ago. The press box is full; theres no more room and what the hell is Scanlans Monthly anyway?
I uttered a painful groan. Didnt the London office call you? Theyre flying an artist over to do the paintings. Steadman. Hes Irish, I think. Very famous over there. I just got in from the Coast. The San Francisco office told me we were all set.
He seemed interested, and even sympathetic, but there was nothing he could do. I flattered him with more gibberish, and finally he offered a compromise: he could get us two passes to the clubhouse grounds.
That sounds a little weird, I said. Its unacceptable. We must have access to everything. All of it. The spectacle, the people, the pageantry and certainly the race. You dont think we came all this way to watch the damn thing on television, do you? One way or another well get inside. Maybe well have to bribe a guard or even Mace somebody. (I had picked up a spray can of Mace in a downtown drugstore for $5.98 and suddenly, in the midst of that phone talk, I was struck by the hideous possibilities of using it out at the track. Macing ushers at the narrow gates to the clubhouse inner sanctum, then slipping quickly inside, firing a huge load of Mace into the governors box, just as the race starts. Or Macing helpless drunks in the clubhouse restroom, for their own good )
By noon on Friday I was still without credentials and still unable to locate Steadman. For all I knew hed changed his mind and gone back to London. Finally, after giving up on Steadman and trying unsuccessfully to reach my man in the press office, I decided my only hope for credentials was to go out to the track and confront the man in person, with no warning demanding only one pass now, instead of two, and talking very fast with a strange lilt in my voice, like a man trying hard to control some inner frenzy.
On the way out, I stopped at the motel desk to cash a check. Then, as a useless afterthought, I asked if by any wild chance Mr. Steadman had checked in.
The lady on the desk was about fifty years old and very peculiar-looking; when I mentioned Steadmans name she nodded, without looking up from whatever she was writing, and said in a low voice, You bet he did. Then she favored me with a big smile. Yes, indeed. Mr. Steadman just left for the racetrack. Is he a friend of yours?
I shook my head. Im supposed to be working with him, but I dont even know what he looks like. Now, goddammit, Ill have to find him in that mob at the track.
She chuckled. You wont have any trouble finding him. You could pick that man out of any crowd.
Why? I asked. Whats wrong with him? What does he look like?
Well she said, still grinning, hes the funniest looking thing Ive seen in a long time. He has this ah this growth all over his face. As a matter of fact its all over his head. She nodded. Youll know him when you see him; dont worry about that.
Great creeping Jesus, I thought. That screws the press credentials. I had a vision of some nerve-rattling geek all covered with matted hair and string-warts showing up in the press office and demanding Scanlans press packet. Well what the hell? We could always load up on acid and spend the day roaming around the grounds with big sketch pads, laughing hysterically at the natives and swilling mint juleps so the cops wouldnt think were abnormal. Perhaps even make the act pay up: set up an easel with a big sign saying, Let a Foreign Artist Paint Your Portrait, $10 Each. Do It NOW!
A Huge Outdoor Loony Bin
I took the expressway out to the track, driving very fast and jumping the monster car back and forth between lanes, driving with a beer in one hand and my mind so muddled that I almost crushed a Volkswagen full of nuns when I swerved to catch the right exit. There was a slim chance, I thought, that I might be able to catch the ugly Britisher before he checked in.
But Steadman was already in the press box when I got there, a bearded young Englishman wearing a tweed coat and HAF sunglasses. There was nothing particularly odd about him. No facial veins or clumps of bristly warts. I told him about the motel womans description and he seemed puzzled. Dont let it bother you, I said. Just keep in mind for the next few days that were in Louisville, Kentucky. Not London. Not even New York. This is a weird place. Youre lucky that mental defective at the motel didnt jerk a pistol out of the cash register and blow a big hole in you. I laughed, but he looked worried.
Just pretend youre visiting a huge outdoor loony bin, I said. If the inmates get out of control well soak them down with Mace. I showed him the can of Chemical Billy, resisting the urge to fire it across the room at a rat-faced man typing diligently in the Associated Press section. We were standing at the bar, sipping the managements scotch and congratulating each other on our sudden, unexplained luck in picking up two sets of fine press credentials. The lady at the desk had been very friendly to him, he said. I just told her my name and she gave me the whole works.
By midafternoon we had everything under control. We had seats looking down on the finish line, color TV and a free bar in the press room, and a selection of passes that would take us anywhere from the clubhouse roof to the jockey room. The only thing we lacked was unlimited access to the clubhouse inner sanctum in sections F&G and I felt we needed that, to see the whisky gentry in action. The governor would be in G. Barry Goldwater would be in a box in G where we could rest and sip juleps, soak up a bit of atmosphere and the Derbys special vibrations.
The bars and dining rooms were also in F&G, and the clubhouse bars on Derby Day are a very special kind of scene. Along with the politicians, society belle and local captains of commerce, every half-mad dingbat who ever had any pretensions to anything within 500 miles of Louisville will show up there to get strutting drunk and slap a lot of backs and generally make himself obvious. The Paddock bar is probably the best place in the track to sit and watch faces. Nobody minds being stared at; thats what theyre in there for. Some people spend most of their time in the Paddock; they can hunker down at one of the many wooden tables, lean back in a comfortable chair and watch the ever-changing odds flash up and down on the big tote board outside the window. Black waiters in white serving jackets move through the crowd with trays of drinks, while the experts ponder their racing forms and the hunch bettors pick lucky numbers or scan the lineup for right-sounding names. There is a constant flow of traffic to and from the pari-mutuel windows outside in the wooden corridors. Then, as post time nears, the crowd thins out as people go back to their boxes.
Clearly, we were going to have to figure out some way to spend more time in the clubhouse tomorrow. But the walkaround press passes to F&G were only good for 30 minutes at a time, presumably to allow the newspaper types to rush in and out for photos or quick interviews, but to prevent drifters like Steadman and me from spending all day in the clubhouse, harassing the gentry and rifling an old handbag or two while cruising around the boxes. Or macing the governor. The time limit was no problem on Friday, but on Derby Day the walkaround passes would be in heavy demand. And since it took about 10 minutes to get from the press box to the Paddock, and 10 more minutes to get back, that didnt leave much time for serious people-watching. And unlike most of the others in the press box, we didnt give a hoot in hell what was happening on the track. We had come there to watch the real beasts perform.
View from Thompsons Head
Later Friday afternoon, we went out on the balcony of the press box and I tried to describe the difference between what we had seen today and what would be happening tomorrow. This was the first time Id been to a Derby in 10 years, but before that, when I lived in Louisville, I used to go every year. Now, looking down from the press box, I pointed to the huge grassy meadow enclosed by the track. That whole thing, I said, will be jammed with people; fifty thousand or so, and most of them staggering drunk. Its a fantastic scene thousands of people fainting, crying, copulating, trampling each other and fighting with broken whiskey bottles. Well have to spend some time out there, but its hard to move around, too many bodies.
Is it safe out there? Will we ever come back?
Sure, I said. Well just have to be careful not to step on anybodys stomach and start a fight. I shrugged. Hell, this clubhouse scene right below us will be almost as bad as the infield. Thousands of raving, stumbling drunks, getting angrier and angrier as they lose more and more money. By midafternoon theyll be guzzling mint juleps with both hands and vomiting on each other between races. The whole place will be jammed with bodies, shoulder to shoulder. Its hard to move around. The aisles will be slick with vomit; people falling down and grabbing at your legs to keep from being stomped. Drunks pissing on themselves in the betting lines. Dropping handfuls of money and fighting to stoop over and pick it up.
He looked so nervous that I laughed. Im just kidding, I said. Dont worry. At the first hint of trouble Ill start Macing everybody I can reach.
He had done a few good sketches but so far we hadnt seen that special kind of face that I felt we would need for the lead drawing. It was a face Id seen a thousand times at every Derby Id ever been to. I saw it, in my head, as the mask of the whiskey gentry a pretentious mix of booze, failed dreams and a terminal identity crisis; the inevitable result of too much inbreeding in a closed and ignorant culture. One of the key genetic rules in breeding dogs, horses or any other kind of thoroughbred is that close inbreeding tends to magnify the weak points in a bloodline as well as the strong points. In horse breeding, for instance, there is a definite risk in breeding two fast horses who are both a little crazy. The offspring will likely be very fast and also very crazy. So the trick in breeding thoroughbreds is to retain the good traits and filter out the bad. But the breeding of humans is not so wisely supervised, particularly in a narrow Southern society where the closest kind of inbreeding is not only stylish and acceptable, but far more convenient to the parents than setting their offspring free to find their own mates, for their own reasons and their own ways. (Goddam, did you hear about Smittys daughter? She went crazy in Boston last week and married a nigger!)
So the face I was trying to find in Churchill Downs that weekend was a symbol, in my own mind, of the whole doomed atavistic culture that makes the Kentucky Derby what it is.
On our way back to the motel after Fridays races I warned Steadman about some of the other problems wed have to cope with. Neither of us had brought any strange illegal drugs, so we would have to get by on booze. You should keep in mind, I said, that almost everybody you talk to from now on will be drunk. People who seem very pleasant at first might suddenly swing at you for no reason at all. He nodded, staring straight ahead. He seemed to be getting a little numb and I tried to cheer him up by inviting him to dinner that night, with my brother.
Back at the motel we talked for a while about America, the South, England, just relaxing a bit before dinner. There was no way either of us could have known, at the time, that it would be the last normal conversation we would have. From that point on, the weekend became a vicious, drunken nightmare. We both went completely to pieces. The main problem was my prior attachment to Louisville, which naturally led to meetings with old friends, relatives, etc., many of whom were in the process of falling apart, going mad, plotting divorces, cracking up under the strain of terrible debts or recovering from bad accidents. Right in the middle of the whole frenzied Derby action, a member of my own family had to be institutionalized.8 This added a certain amount of strain to the situation, and since poor Steadman had no choice but to take whatever came his way, he was subjected to shock after shock.
Another problem was his habit of sketching people he met in the various social situations I dragged him into, then giving them the sketches. The results were always unfortunate. I warned him several times about letting the subjects see his foul renderings, but for some perverse reason he kept doing it. Consequently, he was regarded with fear and loathing9 by nearly everyone whod seen or even heard about his work. He couldnt understand it. Its sort of a joke, he kept saying. Why, in England its quite normal. People dont take offense. They understand that Im just putting them on a bit.
Fuck England, I said. This is Middle America. These people regard what youre doing to them as a brutal, bilious insult. Look what happened last night. I thought my brother was going to tear your head off.
Steadman shook his head sadly, But I like him. He struck me as a very decent, straightforward sort.
Look, Ralph, I said. Lets not kid ourselves. That was a very horrible drawing you gave him. It was the face of a monster. It got on his nerves very badly. I shrugged. Why in the hell do you think we left the restaurant so fast?
I thought it was because of the Mace, he said.
He grinned. When you shot it at the headwaiter, dont you remember?10
Hell, that was nothing, I said. I missed him and we were leaving, anyway.
But it got all over us, he said. The room was full of that damn gas. Your brother was sneezing and his wife was crying. My eyes hurt for two hours. I couldnt see to draw when we got back to the motel.
Thats right, I said. The stuff got on her leg, didnt it?
She was angry, he said.
Yah well, okay lets just figure we fucked up about equally on that one, I said. But from now on lets try to be careful when were around people I know. You wont sketch them and I wont Mace them. Well just try to relax and get drunk.
Right, he said. Well go native.
It was Saturday morning, the day of the Big Race, and we were having breakfast in a plastic hamburger palace called the Ptomaine Village. Our rooms were just across the road in a foul scumbox of a place called the Horn Suburban Hotel. They had a dining room, but the food was so bad that we couldnt handle it anymore. The waitresses seemed to be suffering from shin splints; they moved around very slowly, moaning and cursing the darkies in the kitchen.
Steadman liked the Ptomaine Village because it had fish and chips. I preferred the french toast, which was really pancake batter, fried to the proper thickness and then chopped out with a sort of cookie cutter to resemble pieces of toast.
Beyond drink and lack of sleep, our only real problem at that point was the question of access to the clubhouse. Finally we decided just to go ahead and steal two passes, if necessary, rather than miss that part of the action. This was the last coherent decision we were able to make for the next 48 hours. From that point on almost from the very moment we started out to the track we lost all control of events and spent the rest of the weekend just churning around in a sea of drunken horrors. My notes and recollections from Derby Day are somewhat scrambled.
But now, looking at the big red notebook I carried all through that scene, I see more or less that happened. The book itself is somewhat mangled and bent; some of the pages are torn, others are shriveled and stained by what appears to be whiskey, but taken as a whole, with sporadic memory flashes, the notes seem to tell the story. To wit:
Unscrambling Derby Day I
Steadman Is Worried About Fire
Rain all nite until dawn. No sleep. Christ, here we go, a nightmare of mud and madness . Drunks in the mud. Drowning, fighting for shelter . But no. By noon the sun burns, perfect day, not even humid.
Steadman is now worried about Fire. Somebody told him about the clubhouse catching on fire two years ago. Could it happen again? Horrible. Trapped in the press box. Holocaust. A hundred thousand people fighting to get out. Drunks screaming in the flames and the mud, crazed horses running wild. Blind in the smoke. Grandstand collapsing into the flames with us on the roof. Poor Ralph is about to crack. Drinking heavily, into the Haig.
Out to the track in a cab, avoid that terrible parking in peoples front yards, $25 each, toothless old men on the street with big signs: Park Here, flagging cars in the yard. Thats fine, boy, never mind the tulips. Wild hair on his head, straight up like a clump of reeds.
Sidewalks full of people all moving in the same direction, towards Churchill Downs. Kids hauling coolers and blankets, teenyboppers in tight pink shorts, many blacks black dudes in white felt hats with leopard-skin bands, cops waving traffic along.
The mob was thick for many blocks around the track; very slow going in the crowd, very hot. On the way to the press box elevator, just inside the clubhouse, we came on a row of soldiers all carrying long white riot sticks. About two platoons, with helmets. A man walking next to us said they were waiting for the governor and his party. Steadman eyed them nervously. Why do they have those clubs?
Black Panthers, I said. Then I remembered good old Jimbo at the airport and I wondered what he was thinking right now. Probably very nervous; the place was teeming with cops and soldiers. We pressed on through the crowd, through many gates, past the paddock where the jockeys bring the horses out and parade around for a while before each race so the bettors can get a good look. Five million dollars will be bet today. Many winners, more losers. What the hell. The press gate was jammed up with people trying to get in, shouting at the guards, waving strange press badges: Chicago Sporting Times, Pittsburgh Police Athletic League they were all turned away. Move on, fella, make way for the working press. We shoved through the crowd and into the elevator, then quickly up to the free bar. Why not? Get it on. Very hot today, not feeling well, must be this rotten climate. The press box was cool and airy, plenty of room to walk around and balcony seats for watching the race or looking down at the crowd. We got a betting sheet and went outside.
Unscrambling D-day II
Pink faces with stylish Southern sag, old Ivy styles, seersucker coats and buttondown collars. Mayblossom Senility (Steadmans phrase) burnt out early or maybe just not much to burn in the first place. Not much energy in these faces, not much curiosity. Suffering in silence, nowhere to go after thirty in this life, just hang on and humor the children. Let the young enjoy themselves while they can. Why not? The grim reaper comes early in this league banshees on the lawn at night, screaming out there beside that little iron nigger in jockey clothes. Maybe hes the one whos screaming. Bad DTs and too many snarls at the bridge club. Going down with the stock market. Oh Jesus, the kid has wrecked the new car, wrapped it around that big stone pillar at the bottom of the driveway. Broken leg? Twisted eye? Send him off to Yale, they can cure anything up there.
Yale? Did you see todays paper? New Haven is under siege. Yale is swarming with Black Panthers .I tell you, Colonel, the world has gone mad, stone mad. Why they tell me a goddam woman jockey might ride in the Derby today.
I left Steadman sketching in the Paddock bar and sent off to place our bets on the sixth race. When I came back he was staring intently at a group of young men around a stable not far away. Jesus, look at the corruption in that face! he whispered. Look at the madness, the fear, the greed! I looked, then quickly turned my back on the table he was drawing. The face hed picked out to draw was the face of an old friend of mine, a prep school football star in the good old days with a sleek red Chevy convertible and a very quick hand, it was said, with the snaps of a 32 B brassiere. They called him Cat Man.
But now, a dozen years later, I wouldnt have recognized him anywhere but here, where I should have expected to find him, in the Paddock bar on Derby Day fat slanted eyes and a pimps smoke, blue silk suit and his friends looking like crooked bank tellers on a binge .
Steadman wanted to see some Kentucky Colonels, but he wasnt sure what they looked like. I told him to go back to the clubhouse mens rooms and look for men in white linen suits vomiting in the urinals. Theyll usually have large brown whiskey stains on the fronts of their suits, I said. But watch the shoes, thats the tip-off. Most of them manage to avoid vomiting on their own clothes, but they never miss their shoes.
In a box not far from ours was Colonel Anna Friedman Goldman, Chairman and Keeper of the Great Seal of the Honorable Order of Kentucky Colonels. Not all the 76 million or so Kentucky Colonels could make it to the Derby this year, but many had kept the faith and several days prior to the Derby they gathered for their annual dinner at the Seelbach Hotel.
The Derby, the actual race, was scheduled for late afternoon, and as the magic hour approached I suggested to Steadman that we should probably spend some time in the infield, that boiling sea of people across the track from the clubhouse. He seemed a little nervous about it, but since none of the awful things Id warned him about had happened so far no race riots, firestorms, or savage drunken attacks he shrugged and said, Right, lets do it.
To get there we had to pass through many gates, each one a step down in status, then through a tunnel under the track. Emerging from the tunnel was such a culture shock that it took us a while to adjust. Cool almighty! Steadman muttered. This is a Jesus! He plunged ahead with his tiny camera, stepping over bodies, and I followed, trying to take notes.
Unscrambling D-day III
Total chaos, no way to see the race, not even the track nobody cares. Big lines at the outdoor betting windows, then stand back to watch winning numbers flash on the big board, like a giant bingo game.
Old blacks arguing about bets; hold on there, Ill handle this (waving pint of whiskey, fistful of dollar bills); girl riding piggyback, T-shirt says, Stolen from Fort Lauderdale Jail. Thousands of teenagers, group singing Let the Sun Shine In, ten soldiers guarding the American flag, and a huge fat drunk wearing a blue football jersey (No. 80) reeling around with quart of beer in hand.
No booze sold out here, too dangerous no bathrooms either. Muscle Beach Woodstock many cops with riot sticks, but no sign of riot. Far across the track the clubhouse looks like a postcard from the Kentucky Derby.
Unscrambling D-day IV
My Old Kentucky Home
We went back to the clubhouse to watch the big race. When the crowd stood to face the flag and sing My Old Kentucky Home, Steadman faced the crowd and sketched frantically. Somewhere up in the boxes a voice screeched, Turn around, you hairy freak! The race itself was only two minutes long, and even from our super-status seats and using 12-power glasses, there was no way to see what was really happening. Later, watching a TV rerun in the press box, we saw what happened to our horses. Holy Land, Ralphs choice, stumbled and lost his jockey in the final turn. Mine, Silent Screen, had the lead coming into the stretch, but faded to fifth at the finish. The winner was a 161 shot named Dust Commander.
Moments after the race was over, the crowd surged wildly for the exits, rushing for cabs and busses. The next days Courier told of violence in the parking lot; people were punched and trampled, pockets were picked, children lost, bottles hurled. But we missed all this, having retired to the press box for a bit of post-race drinking. By this time we were both half-crazy from too much whiskey, sun fatigue, culture shock, lack of sleep and general dissolution. We hung around the press box long enough to watch a mass interview with the winning owner, a dapper little man named Lehmann who said he had just flown into Louisville that morning from Nepal, where hed bagged a record tiger.11 The sportswriters murmured their admiration and a waiter filled Lehmanns glass with Chivas Regal. He had just won $127,000 with a horse that cost him $6,500 two years ago. His occupation, he said, was retired contractor. And then he added, with a big grin, I just retired.
The rest of that day blurs into madness. The rest of that night too. And all the next day and night. Such horrible things occurred that I cant bring myself even to think about them now, much less put them down in print. Steadman was lucky to get out of Louisville without serious injuries, and I was lucky to get out at all. One of my clearest memories of that vicious time is Ralph being attacked by one of my old friends in the billiard room of the Pendennis Club12 in downtown Louisville on Saturday night. The man had ripped his own shirt open to the waist before deciding that Ralph wasnt after his wife. No blows were struck, but the emotional effects were massive. Then, as a sort of final horror, Steadman put is fiendish pen to work and tried to patch things up by doing a little sketch of the girl hed been accused of hustling. That finished us in the Pendennis.
Getting Out of Town
Sometime around 10:30 Monday morning I was awakened by a scratching sound at my door. I leaned out of bed and pulled the curtain back just far enough to see Steadman outside. What the fuck do you want? I shouted.
What about having breakfast? he said.
I lunged out of bed and tried to open the door, but it caught on the night-chain and banged shut again. I couldnt cope with the chain! The thing wouldnt come out of the track so I ripped it out of the wall with a vicious jerk on the door. Ralph didnt blink. Bad luck, he muttered.
I could barely see him. My eyes were swollen almost shut and the sudden burst of sunlight through the door left me stunned and helpless like a sick mole. Steadman was mumbling about sickness and terrible heat; I fell back on the bed and tried to focus on him as he moved around the room in a very distracted way for a few moments, then suddenly darted over to the beer bucket and seized a Colt .45. Christ, I said. youre getting out of control.
He nodded and ripped the cap off, taking a long drink. You know, this is really awful, he said finally. I must get out of this place he shook his head nervously. The plane leaves at 3:30, but I dont know if Ill make it.
I barely heard him. My eyes had finally opened enough for me to focus on the mirror across the room and I was stunned at the shock of recognition. For a confused instant I thought that Ralph had brought somebody with him a model for that one special face wed been looking for. There he was, by God a puffy, drink-ravaged, disease-ridden caricature like an awful cartoon version of an old snapshot in some once-proud mothers family photo album. It was the face wed been looking for and it was, of course, my own. Horrible, horrible
Maybe I should sleep a while longer, I said. Why dont you go on over to the Ptomaine Village and eat some of those rotten fish and chips? Then come back and get me around noon. I feel too near death to hit the streets at this hour.
He shook his head. No no I think Ill go back upstairs and work on those drawings for a while. He leaned down to fetch two more cans out of the beer bucket. I tried to work earlier, he said, but my hands keep trembling Its teddible, teddible.
Youve got to stop drinking, I said.
He nodded. I know. This is no good, no good at all. But for some reason I think it makes me feel better
Not for long, I said. Youll probably collapse into some kind of hysterical DTs tonight probably just about the time you get off the plane at Kennedy. Theyll zip you up in a straightjacket and drag you down to the Tombs, then beat you on the kidneys with a big stick until you straighten out.
He shrugged and wandered out, pulling the door shut behind him. I went back to bed for another hour or so, and later after the daily grapefruit juice run to the Nite Owl Food Mart we drove once again to the Ptomaine Village for a fine lunch of dough and butchers offal, fried in heavy grease.
By this time Ralph wouldnt even order coffee; he kept asking for more water. Its the only thing they have thats fit for human consumption, he explained. Then, with an hour or so to kill before he had to catch the plane, we spread his drawings out on the table and pondered them for a while, wondering if hed caught the proper spirit of the thing but we couldnt make up our minds. His hands were shaking so badly that he had trouble holding the paper, and my vision was so blurred that I could barely see what hes drawn. Shit, I said. We both look worse than anything youve drawn here.
He smiled. You know Ive been thinking about that, he said. We came down here to see this teddible scene: people all pissed out of their minds and vomiting on themselves and all that and now, you know what? Its us
Huge Pontiac Ballbuster blowing through traffic on the expressway. The journalist is driving, ignoring his passenger who is now nearly naked after taking off most of his clothing, which he holds out the window, trying to wind-wash the Mace out of it. His eyes are bright red and his face and chest are soaked with the beer hes been using to rinse the awful chemical off his flesh. The front of his woolen trousers is soaked with vomit; his body is racked with fits of coughing and wild choking sobs. The journalist rams the big car through traffic and into a spot in front of the terminal, then he reaches over to open the door on the passengers side and shoves the Englishman out, snarling: Bug off, you worthless faggot! You twisted pigfucker! [Crazed laughter.] If I werent sick Id kick your ass all the way to Bowling Green you scumsucking foreign geek. Mace is too good for you . We can do without your kind in Kentucky.
Warren Hinckles memory of the aftermath of the trip to Louisville is that within a couple of days (as soon as he could walk), Thompson flew to Manhattan, where we locked him down for five days in a room in the Royalton Hotel, just up 44th Street from the Scanlans office in an abandoned ballroom above an Irish bar a block from Times Square.
The story didnt come easily.
I would lie in the bathtub at this weird hotel, said Thompson. I had a suite with everything I wanted except I couldnt leave. After three days of not writing more than two pages, this kind of anxiety/depression syndrome builds up, and it really locks you up. They were sending copy boys and copy girls and people down every hour to see what I had done, and the pressure began to silently build like a dog whistle kind of scream. You couldnt hear it but it was everywhere.
The messenger between the Scanlans office and Thompsons hotel room was Harvey Cohen, the magazines copyboy, who, in Hinckles words, kept Thompson supplied with cigarettes, Heinekens and Chivas. When production slowed, Harvey would seize the time and rip pages out of Hunters notebook and relay them to the Scanlans office, where they were read by managing editor Donald Goddard,14 and then sent by fax to Hinckle in San Francisco.
The final edit was the responsibility of Hinckle, who recalls that he sat in one of the red booths in the venerable Tosca Cafe on Columbus Street in San Francisco, and assembled and then reassembled the text, more Lego than Scrabble. Editing Hunter was like picking up the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle that had been dropped on the floor and trying to put them back together to make sense without having the benefit of the picture on the cover of the puzzle box. After the deadline-whipped Thompson finally surrendered the balance of his notes at the Royalton, he was miserable, convinced that when it comes out Im going to take a tremendous beating from a lot of people.15
Instead, the piece, accompanied by Steadmans beautifully grotesque drawings (and with a byline that read Written under duress by Hunter S. Thompson), prompted a rapturous response. Bill Cardoso, the editor of the Boston Globe Sunday Magazine, wrote Thompson and told him, Forget all this shit youve been writing, this is it; this is pure Gonzo. If this is a start, keep rolling. It was the first use of the word Gonzo to describe Thompsons writing, but the name stuck in large part because Thompson himself loved the description.
One Thompson biographer, William McKeen, noted that because of the storys legendary status and Scanlans small circulation, the story was one of the most famous and least read articles in Thompsons career. (The magazine, which featured an illustration of President Nixon being punched in the face on the cover, wasnt long for the world, shutting down the following March.)
In his upcoming book Who Killed Hunter S. Thompson? Hinckle argues that the true departure, setting Thompson apart from early efforts in New Journalism as practiced by Wolfe and Terry Southern, was Hunters hallucinatory stimulant-fueled novelistic attention given, on a sporting assignment, not to the horses but to the outdoor loony bin of boozed-up burgher spectators. It was the first look through the other end of the binoculars usually trained on the four-footed beasts. The story also offered an early instance of people questioning the literal veracity of Thompsons writing. His friend William Kennedy said the piece marked a moment where he used all his fictional talent to describe and anatomize those characters and just make it all up. Im sure some of it was real.
I was sure it was the last article I was ever going to do for anybody, Thompson said in a 1974 interview with Playboy. Then when it came out, there were massive numbers of letters, phone calls, congratulations, people calling it a great breakthrough in journalism. And I thought, Holy shit, if I can write like this and get away with it, why should I keep trying to write like the New York Times? It was like falling down an elevator shaft and landing in a pool full of mermaids